~Bondage-Whore

<* Personal (strong) views, don't wonna read my "whining" don't read and don't even think about commenting*>
To anyone who actually goes into my gallery... you know as well as i do... that there isn't much going on. Its all either old crappy stuff or new crappy stuff.
Now my reason.
I WAS and artist, then I got into graphic design. As you've seen from some of my submitted work, done for school... I'm a shitty designer, why I'm even in the program still is beyond me and if i didn't have half a yr left i would seriously drop out, its a waste of my time and money.
I'd also like to thank the forced use of adobe programs, which hasn't given me anytime to do "for me" work, because I'm to busy fighting with digital layers, and settings etc.... also its completely destroyed my ability to do anything traditional anymore, because I haven't been able to pull anything straight from my head, i need bloody "reference" all the time now. Also the "feel" for the drawing gets lost in the frustration in trying to remember how I (traditionally) painted/colored in my drawings.
So where does this leave me?
Well, I understand the advantage of doing artwork digitally, and I have nothing against it when other people use it, however... I now find myself on the same level with digital and traditional. Digital I have to learn... Im like a little kid breaking away from crayons and using a pencil for the first time. Traditionally, I haven't done it in so long that It feels like I'm trying to force myself to relearn everything I taught myself and have been taught, and I feel like I'm struggling to retain that "feel" for the drawing/painting. Don't even ask about photography it's my enemy.
So... the reason there isn't anything really worth looking at in my gallery is because of ^. I wasn't a shitty artist, I wasn't amazing but I wasn't shitty... but now Im crap back to being amateur. So in about 5-6yrs you might start seeing something decent, providing I don't give up on art entirely.